CoSleeping Toddler To Do List

CoSleepingToddler

  1. Delay, delay, delay. Stay out of any sort of bed as long as possible.
  2. Demand that each of your toys have their own tuck in. Don’t allow skimping, this is important business. Mouse cannot possibly sleep with less than two hugs, three kisses, and a “goodnight mouse”.
  3. Add another crucial toy to the bed. Nobody is more deserving of daddy’s pillow than your toy triceratops.
  4. Change the order of arrangements at least once a week. It’s not fair to always keep it Elephant-Mouse-Cat-Truck-Train-Tritops-Airplane-Book. Some days it absolutely has to be Truck-Book-Elephant_Airplane-Mouse-Train-Cat-Tritops-Plastic Egg.
  5. Demand that tuck ins begin over if the order is not respected. Demand justice and equality for Plastic Egg.
  6. Pretend to be a frog. Boing loudly. Lick your parent’s faces.
  7. Tigers are fun. Be a tiger. But wait until one or both parents are almost asleep.
  8. When mommy turns the night light off pretend to be lost. Ask “where are you?” repeatedly. Even if you’re literally on top of mommy. Still ask.
  9. The best game is “did you hear that?” Keep asking until they answer. If they won’t answer decide it’s a ghost. Respond accordingly.
  10. Fall asleep in the most awkward and inconvenient way possible. Across the bed is for amateurs. You want at least one appendage on each face.

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