10 Reasons I’m a Perfect Mom

  1. My floors get mopped at least 4 times weekly.*

  2. My five year old is studying physics.**

  3. I practice extended attachment parenting.***

  4. My child is learning the classical arts.****

  5. Asian culture is a daily study subject in our homeschool.*****

  6. We practiced child led weaning.******

  7. We discuss ancient history several times through out the week.*******

  8. My five year old can do complex calculations in his head.********

  9. We don’t watch cable in our house.*********

  10. For art class we create elaborate sculptures and life size modern art installations.**********

*By “mopped” I mean copious amounts of some liquid or another is spilled on them, and subsequently cleaned up (usually).
** He likes to find out what happens when he jumps off of and/or throws things from tall pieces of furniture.
***Our five year old still sleeps in the bed with us.  We have no choice in the matter, as he waits until we’re both asleep and sneaks in like a ninja.
****Of sword play, jousting, and suction cup archery.
***** He thinks he’s a ninja.
******At eleven months old he announced his intention to no longer nurse by first refusing, then biting me when the the subject was pressed.   I agreed that perhaps it was time for him to be done.
*******He likes dinosaur documentaries
********He knows exactly how close to bedtime to ask for “one last snack” in order to delay bedtime, and yet not so close that mommy’s head begins spinning around.
*********We’re cheap, we have netflix, and he still has more episodes of My Little Pony than his best friend does on cable.
**********Legos and box forts.

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